It gets worst before it gets better
by zero434
Summary: "You're awake." Was what he said."You're at home" she replied with a smile that didn't reach her eyes."and sober." He added with a playful smile."Yeah""Forgive me…"  Rusx Fem Can.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own hetalia or the song For the First time by the script**

Setting: the dirty thirties(great depression).

**She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart****  
><strong>**While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar****  
><strong>**And we don't know how we got into this mad situation****  
><strong>**Only doing things out of frustration****  
><strong>**Trying to make it work but man these times are hard****  
><strong>

She sat there by the window waiting for his return; Madeline wondered for what seemed like the hundredth time how things got to this point. She wondered why her once loving husband turned to cold and uncaring man. She wondered on when had their once warm and cozy home turned to this cold empty shell. She wondered and wondered and she did not notice that the man she had been waiting for had arrived home holding a bottle containing a clear liquid though it was water. She only noticed his presence when she heard a chair scrape against the floor she turned and saw him sit down while taking a gulp of the clear liquid.

"I-I van your home!" she said shakily.

He glanced at her momentarily and went back to what he was doing earlier: mindlessly drinking away till he passed out. Lately that's all he what he was doing. What else could he do? He had no job and he knew that searching for one was useless because there are no jobs available and even if there were any he wouldn't get it. The owners preferred British, Canadian or American rather than some dirty Russian communist that would lead a revolt for better working conditions.

"I-I thought you were out getting some f-food." She asked while she feverously wrings her wrist.

Ivan was drinking again...that was never a good sign. She didn't want to anger him but she gave him some of the money they save up, hoping that it was enough to buy some food. Things had been really after the economy crashed. Unemployment rate showed no sign of recovering same thing could be said about the crops in the prairies. To put it in simply life was very depressing. Everyone thought that after the war things would be better; well it was for some years then the sudden bust in the economy caught them off guard and people started to lose their jobs and prices for everyday necessities started to soar.

"And I thought you would give me children but that didn't happen did it!" he snapped back.

Madeline flinched back and her eyes started to sting. It was true though after being married for a year they have not produced a child. She stood up from her spot by the window and started to walk to the direction of their bedroom. She didn't want to stay there and be bombarded by his harsh drunken words again. She had made that mistake last week and she did not want a repeat.

**She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time****  
><strong>**I've got a new job now in the unemployment line****  
><strong>**and we don't know how we got into this mess it's a gods test****  
><strong>**Someone help us cause we're doing our best****  
><strong>

She lay down the bed and cover her self with the thin cover and tried warm herself up as best as she could. It was winter and they could not afford heating or even extra blankets. She stayed in their bed for what seemed like hours trying to not let go of the tears that were threatening to fall. Nothing seemed to go right for her and Ivan.

The blonde taught back to the first time she saw Ivan. They had just arrive in the city. He was fleeing from the prairies and was trying to find a job in the city to support his mother and sister because his father only drunk himself to oblivion and she was fleeing from a family that barely acknowledge her presence. It was love at first sight for them. Her brother tried to warned her about him saying things like "He's a damn communist! His kind is bad news Maddie! Haven't you seen the riots they are causing!" she ignored him though. She knew those were nothing but rumors. The cause of the riots was not because of the rise of communism. No it was because the working class was tried of being pushed around. Plus Ivan and his family had immigrated to the prairies from Russia years ago as far as she knows he wasn't communist.

After their first meeting they kept on bumping into one other. Eventually their feelings started to bloom and Ivan started to court her. Of course her brother was not happy but she did not care. They ended up getting married some years later.

Of course it wasn't very easy. Ivan had found a job but now he had to now sustain his family and Madeline. Madeline tried to find a job as well but no such luck. Things didn't seem to be so bad at first. Ivan had a well paying job at the metal fabrication factory he was working at but one when he came from his visit from his family things started to go down hill. He entered door on that bright sunny afternoon and the only thing he said was "their dead." And for what seemed like months Ivan felt dead to the world. He didn't go to work and stayed at home drinking away what ever pain it was he was feeling. He never told Madeline what the problem was and when she did ask all she got was a heated glare and Ivan would leave for the rest of the day and come back in the middle of the night and pass out on the floor.

And that's how things were for a while. Maddie hoped that things would get better, it didn't. What ever it was that Maddie did it seemed to anger Ivan. It got to the point that Ivan had hit her. That only happened once though, after he that happened Ivan rushed out the house and barely came home.

******Trying to make it work but man these times are hard****  
><strong>**But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine****  
><strong>**Sit talking up all night****  
><strong>**Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah****  
><strong>**We're smiling but we're close to tears Even after all these years****  
><strong>**We just now got the feeling that we're meeting****  
><strong>**For the first time**

Madeline woke up and felt an arm was holding her waist and she was pulled into a warm chest. She turned her head to see her husband with a small smile on his face.

"You're awake." Was what he said.

"You're at home" she replied with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"and sober." He added with a playful smile.

"Yeah"

"Forgive me…" that was all he said as he tucked his head on her shoulder. She felt something warm drip down her neck and the body next to her started to tremble. The arm on her waist tightened uncomfortably, she didn't mind though.

They laid down on their bed for hours until he stopped shaking. Then he told her the horrors he saw that day. He told her of what the sin had committed. He told her on how he found his mother and sisters dead body litter the floor of their home in the prairies. He told her how his father begged for mercy and how he blamed everything that he did on alcohol and to the fact that they were starving and dying was a better option. He told her that he did not show any mercy and killed his father with his own hand. He told where he buried his family. He told her that now they were in a happier place. Now it was her turn to shake.

He forcibly turned her to face him. His face was devoid of emotion. Her's was pale and filled with shock.

"Do you still love me?" all she could do was stare at him with widened eyes.

"Can you still love me?"

His question was met with silence.

After not hearing a response he started to get of the bed but he was stopped from leaving by a trembling arm that grabbed onto his thin coat.

"I-I love you."

He turned to see that his beloved wife was now uncontrollably shaking with a crazed smile on her face.

"I love you." He stares at her for a few moment and then he gave a smile of his own and embraced her.

"Nobody needs to know." said Madeline as she sat there while he cradled her in his arms.

"Da. Nobody needs to know."

**To be continued.**

**Next chapter: Ivan goes off to war.**

**And yeah this kind of messed up but it's true that some people killed their own family because of the suffering that the Great depression brought.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the song "For the First Time" by The Script**

**She's in line at the dole with her head held high**

**While I just lost my job but didn't lose my pride, and we both now how**

**How we're going to make it work when it hurts, when you pick yourself up you get kicked to the dirt**

**Tryin' to make it work, but, man, these times are hard**

September 11, 1939

Madeline made her way home with a happy skip to her steps. Walking away from the line at the dole she had been standing at for a while to get some supplies, she thought about how things had gotten since she and Ivan had that talked. Ivan still drinks but he no longer drank himself to a stupor. Even it was illegal to drink in the first place because of the prohibitions and she was happy about that he had toned it down. He still came home late or at ungodly hours but when she questions him about he just said he was trying to find a job.

She knew that was a lie though. She knew Ivan was a rum runner (Which explains where he gets his booze). She didn't question him about it. He would tell her when he wanted to, on his own accord, when he was ready. Just like when he told her what happened on that faithful day in his prairie home. Of course Madeline being human still had to wonder why he kept it a secret. She giggled. Maybe he was just a shamed because she would think him shameful for being a rum runner. What a prideful man her husband is.

She continued her way home with a smile and patted her stomach. There was another reason on why she was so happy today. For some time now she had been feeling ill. Ivan had no idea seeing as he had been away 'searching for jobs' and Madeline really didn't pay any hid to it until a couple of day before when had fainted while she was in line at the dole. One of their neighbours from the apartments, who was thankfully nearby saw her and helped her home. Her neighbour who was a German named Gilbert was worried enough as tell her where she could find a doctor that would check her over for free. She visited this Doctor Kirkland early this morning, who turned out to be an English man that moved to Canada after the Great War indeed did not charge her a dime. She was also pleasantly informed that she was with child, for three weeks. 'A bun in the oven' was that doctor's exact words.

Finding out she was with child, Madeline decided to take better care of herself. That meant that she needed to eat, hence standing in line at the dole. She could not wait to tell Ivan. She climbed the stairs but stopped as she noticed people crowding around the door to Gilbert's and his little brother's room. She went closer to see what was going on and saw that everyone was deadly quite listening to the radio. She was surprised to see Ivan there and tired to wave at him but she did not seem to see her as he was concentrating on what was being said by the Prime Minister.

"Today we are at war" Madeline almost dropped what she was carrying.

"No." She said. "Not again." And the people around echoed he feelings.

**But we're gonna start by drinking our cheap bottles of wine**

**Sit talking up all night, doing things we haven't for a while, a while, yeah**

**We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years**

**We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time**

Ivan and Madeline sat in silence at their dinner table. Neither looking each other in the eye both they didn't have to. They both know what was going on in the others mind.

"_He wants to go."_

"_She doesn't want me to go."_

After some more time of basking in the uncomfortable silence Madeline had enough.

"Ivan-" she didn't get further than that before he cut her off.

"Don't." He stood up and walked over the window and sighed.

"You don't need to go."

"It's the only way. It's the only way we can escape this- this-"

"I don't care!" she said with tears already making their way down her pale cheeks she remained seated.

"That's a lie Maddy and you know it." He said in a low voice keeping his gaze out the window.

"No it isn't. What would I do with the money that had been earned through your suffering or even worst your d-death." She tried to keep her voice steady and her sobbing at bay.

"It's better to join now rather than be forced to later-"

"No." Madeline interrupted.

"I won't have you running to your death. Especially now, now that we are going to have a child."

Ivan slowly turned around to face his wife. She looked up and smiled at him.

"I-is this true?" he asked in disbelief.

She was only able to nod before she started to cry and he rushed at her side. Hugging her, kissing her again and again, drying her tears then he picked her up twirl her around and then he kissed her again.

Words were no longer needed. A silent agreement had been made. Ivan was going to stay. They were happy for a while. But it did not last. It never did.

**TBC**

**Zero434: Okay sorry Ivan didn't go to war this chapter! But I promise he will next time, this hust took a life of its own I'm sorry but for sure he will go next chap! That's you little heads up on what's going to happen next time I update!**


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